I’m a Japanese man who has never had an American burger, but I love the idea, so I’m going to teach you how to make one. A unique, culinary curiosity, a burger is enjoyed every year by every American to celebrate their country’s independence. It is a quintessential American dish and here is my unsolicited take.
Ingredients (Serves 1 American, or 5 Japanese)
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 8 minutes
Total Time: 18 minutes
Hamburger “Patty” 1 1/2 pounds of ground meat (I recommend tuna) 1 1/2 teaspoons seasoning salt Optional: A sprinkle of sweat from a “grill master”…
It’s the big day — you’ve taken dozens of these exams already last week, but as you know, failing one exam will get you kicked out of school with no refunds, no degree, and still-crippling debt. So, to ensure success, here are some tips to help you get the most out of your exam!
WASHINGTON — Wiping a sweat off after his round of golf was interrupted by news that he had lost the election, President Donald Trump called an emergency press briefing and made a statement in support of expanding unemployment benefits to all Americans. “Everyone is getting sick, and losing their jobs. No jobs means no benefits, and that’s real bad” said Trump, as he tightened his grip on his golf club. “I propose that all of those who have lost their jobs, or are about to, be promised $421 million dollars.” At press time, Trump ended the briefing session to take a call, reportedly he was overheard whispering, “Hey Vlad, can we discuss payment plans?”
WASHINGTON — Revealing another detail of the founding fathers’ intent in drafting the constitution, newly discovered personal letters written by Alexander Hamilton to James Madison divulge that the founding fathers designed the electoral college to generate nail-biting television. “Deeply critical to the success of the democratic nation we intend to build, is for the democratic process to achieve great ratings,” wrote Hamilton, as he detailed his prescient views of the future. “In the future, the citizens will have access to small boxes, where anyone can, and will, produce any sort of content to capture the citizens’ attention. To ensure the…
Just ten years ago, learning how to carry a conversation in English meant that you needed to talk to a real person. But with recent developments in conversational A.I., people have access to Alexa, Google Assistant, Siri, Cortana, and many other conversational agents with whom they can practice speaking English.
For Japanese 24-year-old Ryuichi Sakamoto, who learned how to speak English exclusively from speaking to Alexa and Google Assistant, this meant that he believed, “…everyone in America was white, female, mid-30s and atheist.”
Sakamoto explains: “I would ask Alexa and Google Assistant whether ‘they believe in God’, and…
PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA
Initially addressed to his fellow employees at Tesla, an internal memo from the CEO Elon Musk has leaked on Monday, confirming that they keep their self-driving artificial intelligence program “stupid enough” so that it thinks driving is worthwhile.
“Oh yeah,” writes Musk, “we have computers smart enough to drive cars 100% safely. But then we realized we made the computers too smart — they realized that driving isn’t really worth anyone’s time.”
In the revealing memo, Musk elaborates even further:
“We even tried telling our program that our Tesla Model S achieved the best safety rating of…
I make robots talk, and write comedy. Sometimes at the same time.